Super sized(Does it Matter?)

  I was video chatting with a stranger (from IfriendsV2) last night when, out of the blue, he wrote, "What do you do, besides peddling the intimate details of your potential sex life to the common man?"

It struck me as pretty funny, since that's exactly what I do here.  This guy had never heard of  however, so it must have been something I said. We'd been discussing a Britney Spears smack-down, but something I said must have screamed out This chick has the potential to have a sex life, but so far, no go. Great

This morning, I woke up,  my "potential sex life" first thing on the brain. Truth be told, it's been  long, I hardly remember the mechanics of sex, let alone the sensations, but think about it I did. A long ago conversation kept whirling about in my head.

Years ago, I was hanging out with a bunch of my guy friends. I don't remember if alcohol was involved, but one of them got brave enough to ask The Question.

Does size matter? he wanted to know. And , apparently all the others wanted to know too, because no one criticized him for asking.

At the time, I was woefully inexperienced, so I think I parroted an answer I read in Cosmo or something and told them about my phobia of ridiculously large penises. They knew, I'm sure, that everything I said was rubbish, but they all sighed with relief anyway.

Maybe that night I shamelessly avoided facing the issue at hand, but now I really do have an answer.

Size doesn't matter. Much.

I mean, dude, if your penis is invisible to the naked eye, you've got problems that no amount of love and devotion are gonna solve. But, as long as you've got enough for her to feel -- even just the slightest bit -- you've got something to work with.

Alright, if I'm gonna be totally honest here, I have to say I've got friends who can't get off with nine inches pounding like pistons, but I'm convinced it's a mental thing. The best (pre-Elf Prince) sex I ever had was with a guy who's penis was only slightly bigger than my index finger. (Actually, it may have been closer to the size of my pinkie.)

Yeah, the first time I saw him naked, I resigned myself to putting on the performance of a lifetime. Fortunately for me, he knew his physical limitations could be overcome with ingenuity. I won't go spoiling his secrets, but let's just say the guy could teach the world salsa champions a thing or two about swiveling hips.

That said, the worst sex I've ever experienced (and I can't seem to forget the horribleness of it all no matter how hard I try), was with a guy who had a pretty nice sized package. He probably could have been a model for Inches magazine -- if you put a paper bag over his head. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to use what he had. It was the first (and only) time I stopped sex to puke repeatedly. Needless to say, things didn't work out.

Screw this “friends with benefits” shit.

Daddies (and some mommies) used to warn their little girls, “He’s not going to buy the cow if he’s getting the milk for free.” Back then, they were trying to scare us out of engaging in pre-marital sex and/or cohabitation. It was crass, yes, but it was to the point. Eventually, most of them stopped wasting their breath when they realized a) we weren’t listening, or b) somehow, cows were still selling anyway.

Perhaps, deep down, we got annoyed when we could no longer shock and annoy our parents, and lo, the concept of friends with benefits was born. Then again, maybe we just decided that the lack of a relationship was no reason to put up with horniness, but one-night-stands were just too passé. (I mean, ewww.)

So, finally, we have a not-gross way to express our sexual selves without the messy complications of A Relationship. Joy!

The problems start when one of those friends decides they want a relationship after all. And since I’m a woman who dates men, I’ll write this from the perspective of a woman who dates men. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for other couplings. You just might have to jiggle the prescriptions a little.

If he tells you he’d rather gnaw off his own arm than be in a committed relationship with you, take him at his word and get the hell out before any more damage is done. Oh sure, he might say, when you run into him a couple of months later, “I was just joshing you! Can’t you take a joke?” And maybe he really will have seen the error of his ways, but it’s more likely that he’s felt the coldness of his bed without you in it. Fall for it only if you’ve changed your mind and are willing to put up with not knowing where you stand.

You’re probably thinking, “Oh, people change!” And, yeah, sometimes they do – I just read a Vows column in the New York Times Sunday Styles section that testifies to that. After nine years and two break-ups (he dumped her both times), the couple got married sometime this summer. Maybe they’ll make it – I’m giving them until January.

My point is, unless he’s ready to prove to you that he’s capable of doing more than keeping you screaming in the sheets, to paraphrase the Elf Prince, “Stop wasting your time.”

Those of you who know some of my history might be thinking… Hmmm, she’s quoting advice from the Elf – the dude who she was sleeping with even though she caught feelings and he didn’t.  The same guy who, last we heard, had kicked her to the curb for the second time in less than a year. Shit, if she’s talking to him again, who is she to be shelling out the advice. You’d better do as you say, biatch!

And you’d be totally right in your thinking, except, who better to know what a shitty deal it is to be fucking the person you love when they don’t give two shits about you? That said, forewarned should be forearmed.

Depending on your personality, this one-sided relationship might be something you can get through without morphing into a bunny-boiler on crack. Because sometimes, no matter how many times you tell yourself something is bad for you, you’ve got to get it out of your system. Here are some tips to get through if you just have to have it:

1.                 Get a vibrator.  There’s a reason all your friends have been telling you that. If you’re just looking to get off, you may as well get off in style. (I hear they work even if my pulsating rubber duckie isn't exactly getting the job done for me.)

2.                  Adopt something warm, furry, alive and larger than a rat. You’re not going to get the warm snugglies from your MasterBlator 6000, but if you find a pet you’re compatible with at your local shelter, you’re doing two good deeds at once. Get those karma points, baby. And get some angst-free affection while you’re at it.

3.                  Eat chocolate. Hundreds of articles quote “studies” and “experts” telling us that contains the same chemical released in a woman’s brain when she has an orgasm. Now, I’ve never read those studies, and I don’t what the expertise these experts have, but as a card-carrying chocolate-hater, I have to admit the stuff works. Somewhat. Combine it with Tip 1 and we could probably cage up the male half of the species and just take their sperm for breeding purposes.

4.                  Take a month or two to eat plenty of chocolate, develope a deep attachment to your pet and learn which settings on your toy work best for you, then go ahead and give in. If you still like him better, despite all the shit he puts you through, you and your misery deserve each other.

Oh yes, I CAN be more pathetic than you

  As I sat here coming down off my Kim Possible high (she always makes me feel like I could really kick some bad-guy ass if I needed to), I started thinking about how sad it is that today, whilst I was so desperately in need of comfort, my first thoughts were of my missing gay teddy bear. (Long story, but let's just say Duncan doesn't go for the Mama Bear type.) I mean, why didn't I first start longing for the flesh-and-blood, straight human who has been the focus of so many of my posts? Could it be that maybe I'm getting a little over him?

I wish.

It's just hard to think about sex in cozy terms when the only person you've had any with in the past two-plus years has pretty much told you he thinks you're an icky-weirdo nymphomaniac.

Last day on this earth... ?

          On Monday, I have a doctor's appointment which may or may not lead to another appointment which may or may not lead to spinal surgery. All surgery is risky, but the thought immediately jumped into my mind, You might not walk out of this one. Naturally, my thought then ran to what I would do if the second worst (the first being death) happened, and I ended up paralyzed? What would I want to achieve before I became incapacitated?

Oddly, enough, the first thing I thought of, the thing I fixated on, was sex. I haven't skied in years b/c of a bum knee, though I could have probably gotten by with a knee brace. I never did finish the Appalachian Trail and now is the wrong time of year to even consider it. I've never jumped out of a plane or bungee-jumped (not that I want to bungee jump) or competed in a marathon or even a 10K. There are these things I've never done, but my mind targeted one thing I have done. It's just been a while.

Having been celibate since early September (like the alliteration in that phrase?), I can barely remember what sex feels like. Still, that last time was awesome, if I remember correctly. Which I won't, years from now, if that's all I'm going to have to go on. So, that's what I want to do, if they tell me I need the knife. Everything else, para- and quadriplegics prove they are capable of all the time. But I've never read that news story: Woman, paralyzed from the waist down, has orgasm!

I'd like another one, please. Just in case. 

Away from home........

       So I decided to leave Philippines to try my luck in a foreign land,  I thought It would be easy, but of course I was wrong. Life never been easy, because if it is, our world will be full of lazy people just sitting in their lazy asses. The hard part of this is missing my old friends, my family, my cats and dog, I even missed my neighbor. I wonder if they made their dog to shut up during the night.       Looking for a new job is so hard, good thing i have some gigs on the net that at least support my bills. I applied  as a chat host on a social network site which pay a me a few dime when I recommend someone to join. aaghh  You think I am miserable huh!!?? not at all.. I met some good people online, though they are stranger some actually  are good people, but of course there are always people that is so rude. I enjoy of what I'm doing right now though I hope I can find a day job that wouldn't hurt me when there is a power failure or internet is not available.         I miss the days when i was an actress back home, it pays good, and i never worry about anything. i can buy what I want , and supporting my self is never been an issue.      Another thing about being in a new place, I barely know anyone. good thing my neighbor already talking to me and at least gives me some pointer, tips guides etc etc. and she even give me some food and milk... hehe shame on me..   

 Anyways, speaking of my current job...... maybe i should advertise here.... yeah.. this is my blog and I can do whatever i want.  You see I'm a chathost / model on one social networking site called ifriendsv2. Actually What I do is chat with someone who is a member there, (by the way membership is free, Thanks for asking). The site gives me a bonus of some sort when someone joins through me. So If you want to support me you can join there by clicking here.

      So what will you get when you join us??? Well Aside from chatting with me and getting to know me better :P You can also chat with thousands of host all over the world. IfriendsV2 also has tons of VIDEOS, PICTURES,   Currently Ifriends has thousands and thousands members that you can interact and be friends with.

      I think as a sign of my appreciation I will also give you an access to my restricted videos and picture here in my site. All you have to do is register as a free member, yup, just the free member, specify it when you are joining, it has some option there i think either you want to be a vip member, premium member or free member. choose the free member on drop down menu so you will not be charged.

     Someone bring to my attention that when you sign up for free membership the website ask for credit card info. I personally asked the administrator what gives... Why on earth would they ask for credit card info if membership is free. and here's there their reply.

    "As a responsible e-commerce-enabled communications platform, iFriendsV2 is available only to adults aged 18 years or older who are legally subject to the iFriendsV2 terms of service and rules of the road. Because chat services like iFriendsV2 can occasionally attract user misconduct such as identity theft, spam and other abuses, iFriendsV2 undertakes responsible measures to verify your identity, including matching your registration information against verification databases. Of course, your privacy is respected and protected at all times. iFriendsV2 never shares your personal information with any outside party, and iFriendsV2 never uses your financial information for any purpose, unless you specifically direct us to. (For example, such as directing us to use your payment information to purchase premium services available on iFriendsV2.) "

     So basically It's just an age verification system and confirming that you are who you says you are.  And they are just making sure to protect their site and chathost / model from abuse, spam etc etc. So I guess it's just fair enough.

     Now Once you are a member please email me your username that you created and If I'm online I'll look you up or perhaps you search for me and we can video chat there. I will promise, I'll make your effort and time worthwile. ;)

    Also once you have informed me that you already a registered member I'll let you know the password of videos and pictures

     So if you want to support me, all you have to do is join us by clicking here, It will cost you nothing but help me a little. :)

Oh yeah, Please let me know your username so I can find you easily and  know who is the nice person that gave two minutes of their time to help me! :)


to those who signed up as a consolation, and hope this makes you feel better :P you can add me at yahoo IM marygrace.collin (at) yahoo.com and we can chat there. (ONLY THOSE WHO SIGNED UP CAN'T YOU READ) hehe

Damn, I Think I'm Pathetic.!! Anybody.. penny for the poor!!!


Join Me here It will cost you nothing I promise.. And I promise I'll make it up to you! ;)

The pre-emptive strike

                The bad thing about email is, once the send button is hit, there aren't any guaranteed second chances. Recall requests don't always work. Sometimes they're just not compatible with the recipients' email systems. It's too late to take back those words that were never meant to be said.       

               The good thing about email is, once the send button is hit, there aren't any guaranteed chances to punk out. Recall requests don't aways work. Sometimes they're just not compatible with the recipients' email systems. It's too late to take back those words that needed to be said, no matter how difficult.

       I clicked on "Send" last night, not knowing which category my email fell into.

        I know only that I was breaking my own heart.

QUESTION???

I always thought that I'm tough, I always said that I can live without men, well probably I can.

But now, I'm wondering, whats with this feeling of uneasiness, why I am so down, frustrated, and all I wanna do is cry.

I said I wouldn't care whatever he do, And I tried so hard to live with my word. so hard that it hurts.

I wonder, Where is the toughness on me? why wouldn't i just shrug it off and get over with it.

Why am I crying?

Why am I sad?

Why am I desperately needing comfort now?

Ahhh life.....

The Turtles

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich.

At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.]



The Frogs

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'
[Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]


The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted.

The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.

All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation.

Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite '

The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

[This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go.]

When “I love you” ain’t enough

Last night, when I should have been flitting through the Elysian Plains, I lay awake thinking about all the miserable circumstances (extended celibacy, inferior job, substandard home) that currently afflict my life. To distract myself, and to deflect the lurking depression one usually encounters whilst dwelling on the negative, I reflected instead on the lives of fictional characters.         For no particular reason, my mind, as it so often does, latched on to the heroine of a romance novel I’d read as a teen. Set during England’s Regency period, the book, at the time, struck me as a thick, delicious summer read. I can’t remember many of the details of the book save title and the author — and the moment that ruined the whole story.

        Judith McNaught’s Something Wonderful featured (I think) a spunky heroine stuck in a marriage of convenience for some reason or other. (And aren’t they always?) Wait a second, I remember now. This kid had a habit of riding about the countryside wearing an old sit of armor and somehow was "compromised" when her future husband removed part of hr clothing after she’d had an accident or something. He family, though poor, was a good one and an old one. They forced him, a noble of some ilk, to marry her. As she was a young tom-boy, he wasn’t a happy camper. Anyway, she was cool enough that I wanted to be her friend in spite of the fact she was in that ridiculous situation.

        Somehow or other, in spite of the fact that she was a child (sixteen or seventeen), totally inexperienced and shaped like a boy, he couldn’t resist deflowering without any thought to her pleasure on their wedding night. Then he ignored her. In the meantime, someone — a servant maybe — set out to turn her into a beautiful Lady of Quality.

       She fell in love with her husband (Don’t they always?) in spite of his cruelty. I can’t remember when she told him, but he certainly never told her he loved her too. (He did, of course, love her.)

        At some point in the story, for reasons I can no longer remember, he became convinced she’d betrayed him in some way. I recall some bullshit transgression she wasn’t even guilty of, but which he saw as grounds to reject her. Probably her accused her of cheating — I’m sure he was cheating on her — and didn’t think what was good for the goose was good for the gander

        Just as she was saying, "But I love you" to his, "I don’t care" or "I don’t believe you" or some such nonsense and an disgusting which I can’t remember, an enemy attempted to kill him. She threw herself between the bullet and him.

        Instantly, all was forgiven. He quickly dispatched the enemy and turned to her laughing. And noticed she’d been shot in the head.

        She’d been SHOT IN THE HEAD!

        He begged her not to die. Threatened her with unholy punishment if she were to die and leave him. He cried. Blah blah blah.

        She’d been shot in the head and so missed all of that. And for however long her recovery took, he sat by her side, miserable and full of despair.

        And then she woke up. She didn’t let him apologize for his appalling behavior. She didn’t take his money and run. She didn’t shoot him in the head saying, "I took a bullet for you, motherfucker!"

        She forgave him. Acted, in fact, as if there was nothing to forgive.

        All because he’d said, "I love you."

           My love life may be nonexistent, my job may suck and I may hate my living situation, but I can thank my lucky stars I’ve never taken a bullet for an abusive lover.